TO: League of Champions
FROM: Commissioner Craig
SUBJECT: Fantasy League Dues
Hey guys,
Just a reminder that Week 1 is coming up next week and I’ve only received payment from three guys so far. When you get a chance, please drop a check in the mail. Here’s the address: 123 Pain-in-the-ass Way, Anytown, USA 12345.
Thanks!
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TO: League of Champions
FROM: Commissioner Craig
SUBJECT: RE: Fantasy League Dues
Gentlemen,
Two days until kickoff and half of you still haven’t paid your 50 bucks for this league. It’s not that hard, guys. Send me a check in the mail, or I’d even consider meeting you for lunch or something so you can give it to me in person. Don’t make me beg – let’s get’er done, boys.
Thanks!
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TO: League of Champions
FROM: Commissioner Craig
SUBJECT: LofC Entry Fees Overdue!
Gang,
The season starts TODAY and I still haven’t received payment from Jay, Chuck, Rob, Tom, and Brian. This is the third time I’ve had to email you guys in a week! Please send me a check ASAP – I don’t want this dragging on into the season.
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TO: League of Champions
FROM: Commissioner Craig
SUBJECT: You all suck
Okay, this is silly. Still waiting on Chuck, Rob and Brian. Funny, you guys don’t have any problem pestering me at the end of the season to pay out quickly, but when it’s time for you to pay your entry fee it’s like pulling teeth. Get it together, boys – it’s almost Week 2. Everyone else has paid up. This is getting ridiculous. Send me your money today. Or else.
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TO: League of Champions
FROM: Commissioner Craig
SUBJECT: Last chance, morons
Hey, remember the time when Rob and Brian refused to pay their fantasy league entry fees? That was fun. ROB, BRIAN: SEND ME YOUR MONEY NOW or die trying. Unbelievable.
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TO: League of Champions
FROM: Commissioner Craig
SUBJECT: This sucks
That’s it, I’m done. This is my last season being commissioner of this stupid league. Rob and Brian still haven’t paid, it’s Week 9 and you’re both tied for last place. This league is probably going to fold if you guys don’t pay soon. I know you guys check your email because you’ve responded to plenty of league emails in the past. You have my address. You know where I live. I don’t care if you have to hop in the car and drive the half-hour it takes to get to my house right now, just do it! It’s 50 bucks For the love of god! I’ve known both of you since you were 5. Just get me the f#$!*ing money and we’ll be done with this, okay? I don’t have the time to try and track 50 bucks down from you deadbeats.
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